Sometimes there are questions that people ask you over and over… and over. For me, that question has been: How do you stay so skinny when you’re baking so many breads and other sweets in your kitchen? Usually this question comes up after I’ve taken a batch of muffins or cookies to the office, and at some point during the ensuing conversation it’s revealed that, in fact, I’ve lost more than 20lbs since I began this baking blog. “No way!” people exclaim, “Shut up!” Or, more commonly, “I don’t believe you.”

Well folks, here’s the proof. I fished out an old image of me in 2002, when I was some 29lbs heavier than I am today. This was in my pre-foodblogging days. At my heaviest I was 160lbs.

I have to tell you that I was pretty nervous about sharing the above images, but if I’m going to write a helpful post about how I’ve lost so much weight in the past few years I figure you should see the evidence. Please be kind to me.

One disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or a nutritionist. The tips below are just what has worked for me. Nuff said.

So, how did I do it? Before I get to the nitty-gritty details I want to share some of my food philosophy with you. Most importantly: I love food, and I don’t believe in diets. To me the word “diet” implies some artificial end to my current eating habits. As in, “I’ll eat a and b, but not x and y, until I reach ______ goal weight.” Is it just me or does that look a lot like a math equation? I hate math.

Rather than experimenting with diets, a few years ago I decided to change my lifestyle. I was a miserable graduate student at Yale and one day the nurse at the health clinic told me I weighed 160lbs. I couldn’t believe it. Even though my pants size had slowly gotten bigger, somehow I’d managed to convince myself I wasn’t overweight. Right there I decided to make a change – and since then more than 20lbs have melted off my frame. I stopped treating food as some “thing” that I used for comfort or consumed without thought, and made it an essential part of who I am. An intimate relationship with the food I eat makes perfect sense – after all, food is something we put inside our bodies at least 3 times a day for our entire lives. That’s intense.

In this two part series, I’m going to share with you some of the lifestyle changes I made that led to a healthier, happier, skinnier me. These tips have also worked for my husband, who has lost 40lbs in the past couple years. Today’s section focuses on two elements of my foodie outlook: Knowledge & Balance.

1. Trade whole grains for refined flour. I could never give up bread or pasta, so instead of eliminating them my husband and I replaced refined flour products like white bread and pastas with their whole grain counterparts. Why does this affect weight loss? Refined flour products are digested quickly and release a lot of glucose into your bloodstream as a result. This eventually makes you crash, which in turn makes you feel hungry again. By contrast, oatmeal and whole grain breads, pastas and cereals take longer to digest. The result: you feel full longer and are getting lots of healthy nutrients to boot. A whole wheat blend pasta dish topped with roasted onions, Swiss chard and balsamic vinegar (like the one in this post) is one example of a healthy meal option.

2. Eat more protein & fiber. Protein and fiber also take a while to digest and help you feel satisfied longer. My husband and I love eating dishes with tofu, beans, eggs (sparingly) and nuts. Cheese, low-fat milk and yogurt also have protein and the added benefit of calcium for strong bones. We don’t eat meat, but if you do hormone-free lean chicken and wild salmon are other good choices. Want some examples? Try this Butternut Squash Stew, Baked Sweet Potatoes with Tofu Scramble, or this Foggy Day Chili (sans the cornbread). I’ll add tuna to a whole grain pasta dish (I eat fish, my husband doesn’t), or kidney beans to soups and salads. I also love adding things like walnuts or pine nuts to food.

3. Reduce the amount of raw sugar you eat (and drink more water). In terms of weight loss, sugar is a huge source of hidden calories. Syrupy sodas and sugary fruit juices are two common culprits, so I put them in the “dessert” category. This means I only indulge once in a while, and the rest of the time I drink water, tea or low-calorie mixes from Crystal Light. Sound boring? It doesn’t have to be. One of my favorite tricks is keeping a pitcher of water in the refrigerator with slices of cucumber, orange, or pieces of mint in it. These add-ins infuse the water with a lovely flavor that makes you think of the spa, not a plain old glass of water. Also, did you know that we often mistake the feeling of thirst for hunger? If you’re feeling hungry only an hour after eating, try drinking something, then wait 20 minutes to see how you feel.

4. Eat more fruits and veggies. Fruits and vegetables are packed with fiber – not to mention good-for-you antioxidants. Instead of chips with your lunch, eat baby carrots with a tiny sprinkling of sea salt. Instead of having a dessert after lunch or dinner, eat a handful of berries, pear slices or enjoy a clementine.

5. Know your fats. In order to be in good health about 25% of our daily calories should come from healthy fats. The trick is to knowing which fats are good for you. For instance: omega-3 fats found in wild salmon & walnuts, or the monounsaturated fats in avocados & olive oil. These fats are great in moderation, so I often replace vegetable oil with olive oil in recipes, and I use mashed avocado instead of mayonnaise in sandwiches. When it comes to the saturated fats found in animal products, I drink low-fat milk (except for about 1/4 cup whole milk in my coffee) and moderate the amount of cheese I eat. I avoid the trans fats found in processed foods & junk foods by simply not eating those products.

Aside from low-fat milk and yogurt, I don’t eat any “diet” foods. They’re not as satisfying and always make me want to eat more in the hopes that just one more mouthful will be as good as the real thing. I’d rather really enjoy a cube of cheese or a small scoop of ice cream, than swap them for the fake variety.

I think it’s important to note that with the exception of reducing sugar intake, all of the above tips are about eating more instead of eating less. The key is eating healthy, satisfying foods that will give you energy throughout the day – and keeping portions in check. WebMD has a helpful tool that will teach you to eyeball portion sizes.

Healthy eating is not only about eating whole grains, veggies and the like. Equally important is our relationship with treats such as ice cream and cookies, all of which I enjoy on a weekly basis. Here’s how I do it without sacrificing my health in the process:

1. I kept a food journal for two weeks. Keeping a food journal is probably one of the best things I did in terms of weight loss. For two weeks I wrote down every single thing that went into my mouth, circling anything that was sugary (soda, candy), laden with refined flour (white bread) or just plain unhealthy (mayo). This allowed me to assess my eating habits and make adjustments accordingly. Journaling was also helpful in terms of identifying my weak areas. For instance, I learned that if I’ve had a horrible day the first thing I reach for is ice cream. An understandable response, but not the best coping mechanism if an entire week sucks. Knowing that I have this tendency helps me control it.

2. I budget my sweets. My husband and I have a set amount of treats we can have each week. He likes the miniature Dove ice creams. I like cookies, cakes, sweet breads, and pretty much all the other desserts you see on this site. He allows himself a sweet every other day, while I allow myself sweets twice a week. What this means is that although I post a lot of baked goods on this blog, I only bake once a week. And if I bake a batch of 30 cookies, I’ll save 4 of them as my “sweets allotment” (2 per serving) and I give the rest away. Same for cake – 1 slice is mine and the rest is shared with others. Giving away freshly baked goodies is not only good for your waistline, but it’s a great away to make friends.

3. I snack wisely. I always keep a piece of fruit or a baggie filled with raw almonds, dried apples and dry blueberries in my purse. This way if I’m unexpectedly slammed with hunger pains in the middle of the day I can reach for a healthy snack instead of hitting the candy machine. When I remember to make them, these homemade granola bars are my favorite daytime snack.

4. I plan ahead. It’s easier to stay on track if you’ve pre-planned your menu for the week, so every Saturday we plan our meals. We also make our lunches for the week on Sunday, then take our food to school/work in portion-friendly containers. (I like my Mrs. Bento for this.) Plan your meals according to the old adage: Eat like an Emperor for breakfast, a King for lunch, and a Pauper for dinner. You don’t need as many calories in the evening, and if you eat a filling breakfast you’ll eat less throughout the day. During the week when I’m super busy in the mornings, I eat oatmeal or muffin size frittatas for breakfast. I make the frittatas on Sunday evening, baking them in muffin tins so that each serving is easy to warm up & eat when time is limited.

5. I hold out for the good stuff. I don’t eat cafeteria food, fast food or anything that’s been cheaply prepared. When I do eat a meal, I eat slowly and savor each bite – which means that I not only enjoy my food more, but I eat less in the long run. Finally, when it comes to sweets I remember my budget for the week – whatever I’m tempted to eat better be incredible to justify the expenditure. If not, I pass on it.

I hope that these 10 tips have been helpful!

Or, how exercise and relaxation helped me lose weight. Don’t worry, I’m not an exercise nut. Part II will be posted later this month – if you aren’t already subscribed to Baking and Books, you can sign up here and receive full posts via email or through a reader.

In the meantime I’ll end with this bit of advice: be kind to yourself. Knowing that I like to eat ice cream when I’m sad doesn’t guarantee that I’ll stay within my sweets budget if I’m having an especially awful week. But I don’t give myself a hard time if I slip, because that would make me feel bad, which would lead to more ice cream, and… you get the idea. Rather than throwing my hands up in the air and shouting “That’s it! I’ve ruined my healthy eating plan!” I just eat healthfully the rest of the week and workout the next day. Guilt is not a healthy emotion, and eating well isn’t about being a “good” or a “bad” person. The most important thing is to think positively – and to believe in yourself.

Below is a recipe for a healthy pasta dish made with whole grain blended pasta, roasted onions, Swiss chard and balsamic vinegar. It’s easy to make and super satisfying – my husband and I love it. But before the recipe I’d like to thank three people: John, for all his help revamping my category archives this weekend (check them out – aren’t they looking incredible?), and Nancy & Kat for helping me with the title for this post. You’d be surprised how hard it is to write an entry about weight loss without an infomerical-type title! Also, thanks to everyone who encouraged me to write this entry a few weeks ago. I’d been on the fence for a while.

Whole Wheat Fusilli with Swiss Chard and Balsamic-Roasted Onions
Adapted from The Modern Vegetarian Kitchen, by Peter Berley.

Ingredients: Serves 4

• 2 red onions, sliced lengthwise into thin wedges
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, plus more later for serving, according to taste. (Use the best vinegar you can afford. We use one that’s been aged for 12 years.)
• Coarse sea or river salt
• 4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• 1 1/2 teaspoons dry thyme
• 1 pound Swiss chard, trimmed (i.e. only use the leafy parts)
• 1 pound whole wheat fusilli (We use Ronzoni’s Healthy Harvest whole grain blend pasta)
• 4 large garlic cloves, minced
• 2 tablespoons pine nuts

Heat your oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large bowl, toss the onion slices with the thyme, 2 tablespoons olive oil, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar. Spread the oven on a baking pan and roast them for 30 to 40 minutes, until they’re soft and caramelized. Stir them after 20 minutes of roasting.

Bring a large pot of water to boil. Add 1 tablespoon salt. When the water returns to a boil add the chard and cook for 2 minutes, or until wilted and tender. Using tongs, remove the chard from the water and drain in a colander. Bring the water to a boil again and cook the pasta according to the package instructions.

While the pasta cooks, heat the remaining 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a large pan. Add the garlic and cook for about 1 minute over medium heat, just until it’s fragrant. Add the pine nuts and cook for 1 more minute. Add the swiss chard and 1/4 cup of the pasta water, then cook for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Add the roasted onion slices and cook until they are heated through.

Drain the pasta and transfer it to a large serving bowl. Add the vegetable mixture and toss. Season with extra balsamic vinegar, if you like. Serve immediately.

• How I Ate My Cake, and Lost Weight Too – Part 2
• Romantic Homemade Pasta Sauce
• My Kitchen, It’s Full of Nuts
• Fettuccine with Mascarpone and Sage-Walnut Butter
• I Like it Simple, Sweet & Savory
• How To Grow Culinary Herbs and Plants (Without a Yard)
• How to Make Pita Bread in the Desert
• Easy Three Cheese Broccoli Calzones (Plus: My First How-To Video!)